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Do you remember back when I coined the term "going Garver"?

Well now I'm coining a new one. "Going Garner." Maybe you can consolidate it into "going Gar*er".

Anyway. I am pretty tired of me, and this blog has more of me than any reasonable person should be subjected to.

I love you.

I affirm: Fountain Coke

I deny: Styrofoam cups

I affirm: Pie

I deny: Plastic forks

I affirm: Baseball on the radio

I deny: Cable TV

I affirm: The Anglo-Genevan Psalter

I deny: Chanting

I affirm: Bach

I deny: Haydn

I affirm: The knuckleball

I deny: The home run

I affirm:Lynard Skynard

I deny: Barry Manilow

I affirm: Really cold beer

I deny: Tea with anything in it other than sugar and ice

I affirm: Aquatic crustaceans

I deny: Soup

I affirm: View Master

I deny: GameBoy

I affirm: The AV

I deny: NIV

I affirm: Wrigley Field

I deny: Camden Yards

I affirm: German Hymns

I deny: Revival Hymns

I affirm: the Cardinals

I deny: the Yankees

I affirm: Football in winter

I deny: News coverage of football in the spring

I affirm: Dockers

I deny: Jeans

Here is an interesting article about psycho pamphleteer Jack Chick.

Top 10 fun activities in Monroe:

10. Go to Brookshire's and buy something small... tube of toothpaste, box of Kleenex. Ask that the bagger help you to your car. Park at the farthest end of the lot.

9. Drive by my house seventeen times each evening blasting 50 Cent from your car stereo.

8. Go to Enoch's. Get "translated".

7. Appraise the value of real estate.

6. Drive around the parking lot of First Baptist, West Monroe on Sunday morning. Circle the lot a few times, ignoring the furious hand waving directions of the parking lot attendants. Act like you don't know what they are motioning for.

5. Blow your train whistle loud and long.

4. Dash into the airport terminal and breathlessly beg the nearest person to direct you to the Southwest Airlines concourse. Tell them you are about to miss your flight. When they answer you, rush back out the door, muttering that you thought this was an airport.

3. Stand by the Wal Mart greeter. Beat them to the punch, greeting everyone more loudly and enthusiastically than they do.

2. Go to the Pecanland theater on a Friday night and buy a ticket for a Martin Lawrence movie. Sit in the dead center and read Dickens aloud in your best stuffy English accent. If anyone says anything, exhale loudly and start back at the beginning.

1. Suck the head. It's the best part.