Bailey dances like a nut to Journey. She gets this little toe-hopping thing going, squats real low and shakes her butt. Hilarious.

Here is where you can download the tough version of computer Risk I mentioned. If anyone can figure out how to play this version against other players online, let me know.

On a side note, I have read some poor reviews of the Lord of the Rings Risk set. It seems like they slapped some of the movie elements into the original game and shoved it out for production in a hurry while the movies were still hot. From what I can tell it has a number of hokey, irrelevent actions like the ring that moves automatically one territory per turn from one end of Middle Earth to the other and when it reaches the end of the game board, play stops. There are no advantages or disadvantages to having the ring in your territory, and nothing you can do to speed it up or slow it down. It is just like an hourglass, more or less. There are also sea attack routes on the board that go nowhere. In other words, it sounds like they tried to capitalize on a great idea, but I think I'll just stick with the original version of the game.

You know how dentist's kids always have really clean teeth and their dad is always checking to make sure they floss and brush ten times a day?

Wouldn't you hate to be a proctologist's kid?

If the world was indeed flat, would people live on both sides, or just the top side?

You don't even care do you?

I had my first crawfish the other day. I took it off a Chinese buffet. It tasted like really bad shrimp that you had to work twice as hard to eat.

I was with a friend who was instructing me on how to take the crawdad apart. I took myself out of the game the minute he said, "Okay, now clean out the poop chute."

One of the pinchers did make a nice tie tack, though.

Meatballs do not belong on a sandwich. They belong on noodles. Get it right, people.

You know what would terrify me if I was a dog?

Baths.

Heck, those scare me now.

In between writing pages of my paper on the influences of Christian humanism on the Protestant Reformation, I play a shareware version of the board game Risk. I've played several different versions of computer Risk, but I've finally found one that can whoop my booty repeatedly.

I set it on the most difficult setting and play against five other computer players, and I'm almost always out by the second or third round. It's ruthless. So I'm rethinking my tried-and-true Risk strategies. I'm thinking that there are probably people out there that they wouldn't work against.

Where do you start? Do you try to go after a continent early or do you try to wipe out the weaker competition first and get their cards? What continents do you like? What is your overall strategy?

Hey all of you people who are copying and distributing movies, music and software illegally...

Why don't you put all of your evil efforts to good use and figure out a way to mass-duplicate burritos? That's something I would go in for. Forget burning me a bootleg copy of The Two Towers, I want you to buy a burrito and figure out a way to let me copy it for free.

Okay, how about just a bite?

Can you say pessimistic eschatology?

Go visit fellow AAPCer James' new blog "Pick Ups and Splashes", er, "Pitch and Green".

1000 points to anyone who can tell me who wrote "Pick Ups and Splashes".

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man give his friend a necessary household appliance.

People buy me extra-long ties for gifts. They think since I'm extra-tall that I need a very long necktie. Not so.

Extra-long ties are for guys with huge guts that still want the tip of their tie to touch the top of their belt. I don't have that problem, really. I'm chunky but boxy. My neck and belt are mostly on the same parallel.

So what happens is that the back strip of the tie is always longer than the front tip, and I end up cutting the back strip, like I did just five minutes ago, rendering it a disposable tie.

Regular sized ties are just fine. They make them long enough for almost everybody.

When I'm walking out the door to go to work in the morning Bailey usually makes a big scene like its the last time she'll ever see me. She falls on the ground and flops and wails and acts like it is ripping her heart out for me to go.

This morning she was sitting in her high chair eating a banana and when I put my hand on the door knob to leave she said in a very non-chalant rational big girl voice, "Bye, dad."

Now that ripped my heart out.

If you have ever thought that putting golf tees in your nostrils and looking at your wife with a big goofy grin would be a huge turn-on for her, let me just tell you... you are wasting your time, Jack.

I'm growing increasingly impatient with Republican rhetoric.

For me, the weeks between the Super Bowl and spring training baseball are the darkest, most depressing of the year.

Top Three Reasons the Raiders Lost:

3. Defensive Line
2. Secondary
1. Linebackers

The Raiders defense ought to refund every ticket in that stadium for wasting their time and money by turning the SuperBowl into a non-game. They fell asleep in the second quarter and didn't wake up again until the fourth when it was too late.

Enjoy your AFC Championship rings, boys, because this off-season is going to see a clearance sale in Oakland and some of you are going to end up in either New Orleans, Arizona or Seattle... where NFL players go to die.

Top Ten Reasons I'm Pulling for the Raiders:

10. Bill Romanowski - great 49er, even better as a Bronco, the ultimate linebacker
9. I will enjoy witnessing Warren Sapp's big cake hole slammed shut yet again
8. Black and Silver beats Burgandy and Pewter any day.... pewter... it's a helmet not a Franklin Mint collectible
7. Tim Brown - give the man a ring for crying out loud, fifteen seasons with the same team
6. There is no such city as Tampa Bay
5. Charlie Garner - We're not related, but still...
4. I got a pair of Raiders pajamas from my Grandma for Christmas in the early eighties
3. The Raiders have never worn orange sherbet jerseys. Never.
2. Rich Gannon - I love scrambling QB's, great leader, finally got a great team around him
1. Jerry Rice - no comment necessary - just say it with me... Jerry Rice... yep

I have posted three more book reviews over at Dabney Center Papers.

When I was pastoring the church in Corinth, Mississippi, Dave was the minister of music. He has a blog. We haven't heard from each other in at least five years, but he found my blog. Another blogging reunion.

I feel like all I ever post anymore is announcements about who has a blog.

I'm tired of the word blog.

I think I'm going to go Garver on all y'all.

Some people may say that drinking a pint of Guinness through a crazy straw is not a sign of masculinity. I say that it represents the paragon of manliness.

You would never see a woman do that, would you?

I had a dream last night that I was writing a novel, and the only bit of dialogue that I could get out was this:

“You have a voice just like white zinfindel”, he remarked.

“I get that all the time”, she replied.

If I actually ever do write a novel, I’m going to have to work that in somewhere. Never mind the fact that I have no idea what it means.

Over the weekend Sarah and I saw The Two Towers. It was my second time through, her first. I am falling in love with these films and the story behind them.

When I was in Mississippi on Saturday, my dad mentioned that I must have checked the books out of the library a million times as a kid. But when I was younger, I missed all of the rich symbolism, the themes and the depth of the story that I’m enjoying this time around. I think I just saw them as good stories about fantastic creatures.

I just started reading The Fellowship of the Ring again for the second time in a year to quench my thirst for Middle Earth.

In two weeks I am giving a talk titled "How to Watch a Movie".

I think I have the outline pretty much settled:

I.Drive to Blockbuster

A.Pick the box with the biggest explosion on the cover*
B.Take that box to the counter (pay late fee)

II.Get the appropriate snack

A.Ice cream is my choice – popcorn is too loud, nobody can eat it like human so you usually end up with some pig who drowns out the dialogue for the first twenty minutes with his smacking and crunching.
B.Chocolate ice cream is really preferable
C.To really make it great, pour whole milk on the chocolate ice cream. It makes this nice icy shell over the top layer of the ice cream. Kind of like eating a shake with a spoon. For reals.

III.Insert DVD

A.Scan past promos
B.Flip around with the extra features while everyone is getting settled
C.Select “play movie”

IV.Watch Movie

A.Completely ignore dumb questions from fellow movie watchers: “Who is that guy, I thought he was the one in the beginning with the limp – isn’t he a good guy?” Be confident that if they are quiet they will catch on. Have a full complement of picture books on hand in case they get bored.
B.In fact don’t respond to anything at all. You aren’t there to talk. You are there to watch a movie. If you don’t say anything maybe they will be quiet and stop trying to engage you in conversation. If they come in the room half way through and want an update on what is going on, that’s tough. If they cared they would have been there from the beginning.
C.You know that one guy that has already seen the movie a dozen times and keeps saying, “Watch this part, this is really cool, you gotta see this…”? Kick him out of the house. Don’t put up with that.

I think that will just about do it.

*To be honest, this is not my criteron at all. I seriously hate explosion movies, but I am trying to be catholic. I only willingly watch movies with Billy Bob Thornton, John Cusack, Mel Gibson, R2 D2, a historical setting, a literary source or some combination thereof. Everything else can be classified as either gay or crap. Most of it is gay.

Mike suggests that Sarah and I merge blogs. What think ye?

I mean it is sure to come out looking something like this.

Just posted a paper on Church and Culture over at Dabney Center Papers, and I'll give the same disclaimer. One of these days I need to go back and clean up some rough spots and flesh a few more things out, but this was work done on a deadline, and this is what I churned out.

Cartoons I would watch if they existed:

1. The Bi-Polar Bears: A family of arctic creatures alternatively shout ursine insults and distribute bear hugs to one another.

2. The Scooby-Doo / Popeye Deathmatch Hour: The most annoying cartoon characters ever created face off week after week and beat each other with spikey and blunt instruments, fighting to the bloody death.

3. JAG: The Animated Series: Just think of all the exotic locales and the high courtroom drama that could be so much more accurately depicted with animated characters. You could even add a pet monkey for comic relief.

With the way this blogging thing is taking off, I need to buy stock in Sensus Plenior.

Fellow Auburner Micah Lewis has got one.

Just found out that Jeremy "Remy" Wilkins has one too.

I'm not an overly emotional or sentimental guy as you can probably tell...

But last night when I went into the kitchen and saw a toy train engine laying on its side on the floor, I felt a lump in my throat and silently thanked God that he has blessed our home with a child.

That toy train speaks volumes about the blessings God has given us. We have a daughter who is healthy enough to play. God has provided us the means and the resources to give her food and shelter so that she is strong and feels safe enough to run through our own living space and scatter her toys about with abandon. She has toys - extra, non-essential blessings on top of everything else God has given her.

God bless the homes that desperately wish they had a stray toys scattered about.

God end the murder of little ones, little ones who will never leave toys in the kitchen.

One of the people who runs this company just asked for the definitions of the words "gregarious" and "abstract".

I'm going to speak in code here so that the wrong people can't figure out what I'm saying.

Eye knead uh gnu "book-of-the-Bible-that-comes-between-Esther-and-Psalms".

Really. Seriously. Quickly.

If you know what I'm talking about, please be discreet.

8^ (

Talking about video games reminded me of all the consoles I've owned through the years.


Atari 2600 - Aquired: Birthday present, 1982 Favorite Game: Yar's Revenge Demise: Still in my parent's basement

Atari 7800 - Aquired: Birthday present, 1987 Favorite Game: Karateka Demise: Still in my parent's basement

Nintendo - Aquired: Christmas present, 1990 Favorite Game: John Elway Football Demise: Still in my parent's basement

Sega Genesis - Aquired: Bought for myself, 1994 Favorite Game: Zero Tolerance Demise: Gave it away to a friend's son

Playstation - Aquired: Christmas present, 1997 Favorite Game: NASCAR 2001 Demise: Stolen from my house, but I still have all the cables

I mentioned that we drove up to Mississippi for the weekend...

My cousins have an X-Box video game system. Wow. I cannot believe the realism on the Madden Football game. It is simply mind-blowing. They added so many little details to make it look like you are actually watching a real NFL game. Incredible.

They had a couple of racing games as well that were just amazing. And to think how content I was with my little Playstation 1. I'm doing some major coveting. I don't even know how much the game systems are, but one of my cousins was headed out to WalMart and asked her dad for $50 to buy a new game disc for it. Even if someone gave me an X-Box, I couldn't afford the games.

Can they add any more buttons, knobs and switches to the controllers? The games are getting so complicated that you have to be operating all ten fingers at once to fully involve yourself in the action. What ever happened to the Atari joystick with just one orange button?

After work on Friday, we hopped in the car and drove through the heart of Mississippi up to my grandparent's house near Corinth to meet my mom and dad who had driven down from St. Louis. Corinth is about a 6 hour drive for both of us.

They still had Christmas stuff to give Bailey, so we had to get together. We drove back this afternoon. Where did the weekend go?

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man buy a fruit punch Powerade for his friend.

Yo Mike. I updated your link, again. Why can't you just stay in one place, dude? Are you running from something?... or somebody...?

So I see Aaron Booth is blogging now. Wow.

I started posting stuff over on the Dabney Center Papers site to see if I could prompt any interaction with my ideas and to get some feedback on how I could better communicate those ideas. It is starting to work.

Matt posted an irenic critique of my paper on preaching.

Josh went ape-doody in response to Thomas Hilleke's work.

Don't take it personally Thomas. I'm just glad I didn't post that paper you wrote where you describe Lutherans as psychotic antinomian sectarian Nazis.

Hey Providence RPC'ers, my boss is going to be in St. Louis this weekend and will be worshipping with ya'll on Sunday morning.

Say howdy to him, and help me convince him that all St. Louisans are as warm and friendly as I am.

You can't miss him. He'll probably be the only Cajun with four blonde kids at church that morning. His name is Paul.

What would be cool is if this site would track the number of bad statistics churned out every minute.

I found this story incredibly interesting.

A study was conducted to show that resumes with black-sounding names at the top get fewer responses than resumes with white-sounding names.

I've often thought about using my middle name "Thomas" instead of my first name for business letters, business cards and especially resumes for that very reason.

Many people have told me candidly that they thought I was black when they saw my name before they met me. Lots of people mispronounce my name "du-WAHN".

Just in case any of you were wondering, I'm not black. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

More than anything, I believe this story speaks to the need for us to give our sons solid masculine professional names, or else they may end up in professions where they will have the name you give them sewn on their shirt. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) I can't imagine consulting a lawyer named Tristan or a doctor named Dakota. I can imagine them sporting a mullet, driving a black Trans-Am and hanging around the High School parking lot long after they graduated.

It could be that the companies selected for the study don't necessarily want to hire people named Kareem or Rasheed for the positions they have open. (And isn't there a residue of racism in the study's use of those names to represent the black resumes...?)

Anyway. It has me thinking. I'm thinking I'm going to start using my middle name.

I've had a stomach virus for the last couple of days and the last time I ate or drank anything was Tuesday night. I get a little queasy at the thought of putting anything in my mouth. Even water. I'm going through the clammy cold - burning hot cycle right now.

I don't know exactly what a virus does when it gets to your stomach, but it must do something that is so horrific to everything that happens to be lying around down there that all that stuff flees frantically and violently through the shortest route to the nearest exit.

You can't brush your teeth enough to get that taste out of your mouth.

I am doing research for a book I'm working on, tentatively titled "Things that Make Good Substitutes for Q-Tips".

I have confirmed that fondue forks do not belong on that list.

Fellow Dabney Center student Thomas Hilleke introduces himself and goes catholic on us over at Dabney Center Papers.

I'm going to make up my own little quiz like a lot of other people are doing. You can leave the answers in my comments box. Have fun.

1. What is your name as it appears on your birth certificate?

2. What is your date of birth?

3. What city were you born in?

4. What is your Social Security Number?

5. What PIN do you use most often?

6. What is your Mastercard number?

7. What route do you travel from the bank to your house after cashing your check?

8. Do you have any easily located valuables in your house?

9. How much cash do you usually carry on you?

10. Planning on taking any extended vacations soon?

--

Okay, how about this quiz...

1. Given the great similarity between zoos and prisons, doesn't it stand to reason that zoos should have a death row? Discuss.

2. Would you rather drink a Mountain Dew or have your ear gnawed off by a chipmunk? Ok, which ear?

3. Mike Stewart or Chris Smith? Can't decide? Me neither.

4. Loofah. That's really not a question. I just like saying loofah. Say it. Okay, now try saying it with a German accent. Heh.

5. Which is scarier, poodles or clowns?

Me: The worst thing about eating Muppets is skinning them. There's all that fuzzy hair that you have to get rid of.

Robbie: Naw, I just reach my hand up inside him there and turn him inside out... throw him on the grill and that's all there is to it.

It is difficult for me to get excited about any team in the playoffs now.

I'm ambivalent about Philadelphia, even though they trash talk St. Louis every time they play them... and get beat in the process.

I hate Tennessee and Tampa Bay. Their players exhibit some of the worst attitudes and sportsmanship in the league.

I guess Oakland has a few things I like... small market team, blue collar town, Charlie Garner and Rich Gannon are a couple of hard working players that could stand a day in the sun, Jerry Rice is a legend getting what could be his last shot at a ring... I suppose I'll pull for them. But if they don't make it, this could be the first Super Bowl I've ignored since I was in diapers.

Just a tip...

When you are at the drug store picking up some generic razors for about a buck, go ahead and lay down the extra quarter and get the ones with two blades. Those don't remove nearly as much flesh as the ones with only one blade.

Oh and it looks like Amanda Roberts has her page up and running too!

Welcome to my good friend Lamar Cranston. He has started blogging and now has a functioning comments system.

I think I might just have accidently deleted an important email.

If you emailed me with a question about the Pastor's Conference, and I haven't responded to you, can you email me again? I meant to get to you this morning, but I can't remember who you are.

The thing about most of those old video games is that the only goal is to rack up points. That's it. There's no story, no interesting levels, the game just gets faster and faster. I've been plucking around with a couple of Atari games that I downloaded and I'm already bored with them. How in the world did I spend so much time playing Pac-Man and Asteroids?

There is no such thing as Saturday morning cartoons anymore. No Smurfs. No Bugs Bunny. No Hanna Barbara. Just a bunch of animated smart aleck pre-teens and disgusting Japanese monsters.

There's nothing quite as depressing as taking a Christmas tree down.

Just posted my paper on the role of preaching in the covenant renewal liturgy over at Dabney Center Papers. I'll email the full footnoted version if you request it.

I would like to go back and clean this one up sometime. I've just started on this idea and I want to pursue it more, but I had a deadline and couldn't spend as much time on it as I would have liked.

I gladly accept any honest feedback.

Just a blurb if you don't want to go read the whole thing:

"Imagine being called in for supper as a child and as you sit down at the table your father mentions that before you can eat, he has a few charts to show you, and pulls out an overhead projector, peering at you as he lectures for an hour, making sure you are taking copious notes. Or imagine if he were to begin a long tirade on the legitimacy of your ancestry right there as the food sat on the table, bringing up all sorts of doubts as to whether you were really his own child. How much more odd would it be if he were to declare from the beginning of the conversation that you were not his at all, and begin to beg you to join the family, listing with great detail all of his grievances against you. Though this all may sound quite absurd, this is exactly what the preacher is saying that God does when he preaches an excessively academic or evangelistic sermon in the time when the congregation is gathered around the table."

Did anybody see the new Star Search last night?

American Idol, Star Search... when are we going to see a remake of The Gong Show?

I think my favorite all-time Atari game was Yar's Revenge.

I just went and downloaded an Atari 2600 emulator and the Yar's ROM and it is as fun as it was when I was ten years old playing on a worn out black and white TV in my bedroom.

Really worthless jokes I heard somewhere:

Q: Why do ducks have webbed feet?
A: To put out fires.

Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: To put out burning ducks.

---

Two men went hunting moose on a Canadian island. When they landed on the island in an airplane, the pilot told them, "Now I know that both of you have tags, but between the both of you, you can only shoot one moose, OK? That's all that will fit on the plane"

The two men said OK and the pilot said "See you in a week" and took off. The pilot came back a week later and sure enough, the two men had two moose.

The pilot jumped out of the plane, walked towards the men and said, "What the heck are you doing? I specifically told you ONE moose! How are we going to get rid of this thing? We'll never get off the ground!"

The two men replied "We did last year." The pilot said, "That was a different plane."

"No, sir. It was exactly like yours." "Really? Well, then what are we waiting for, let's get them in there and get out of here!"

They get the moose on the plane, take off only to crash 10 seconds later. There were moose parts everywhere and the pilot was killed. One man says, "Dude, where are we?"

The other man thinks for a while then says, "I think about a hundred yards further than last year."

Just posted my paper on miracles over at Dabney Center Papers. I put the footnotes in parentheses within the text of the paper. Let me know if that is too annoying.

My paper on preaching in the context of the covenant renewal liturgy should be up before this time tomorrow.

Here's a nibble of the miracles paper, in case you don't want to go read the whole thing:

"... the overemphasis on and unwarranted expectation of the miraculous has stolen away the thankfulness due our Lord for the normal ordinary providences from which we benefit every day. People are thus easily distracted from taking careful notice of the normal processes God uses to meet the needs of His people. It is not a great faith, but a weak faith that is always looking for a spectacular, flashy, turn-your-world-upside-down demonstration of God’s power. A mature faith sees God’s hand working in daily, common, conventional ways to feed, clothe and care for His own."

I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then.

I will say this much and only this much:

Fellow-blogger John Barach was as intelligent and articulate as we have come to expect him to be. He was the intellectual backbone of the conference.

I sat through every single minute of every lecture and discussion session of the 2003 Auburn Avenue Pastor's Conference, but I haven't quite digested all I have seen and heard over the past three days, nor do I know quite how to relate it accurately to someone who wasn't there without drastically coloring it from my own (and at the moment highly-charged) perspective.

I do know that I am not going to post any opinion about it on this public page. All it will take is for someone to type "AAPC" into Google to bring up my page (as many already have done), and I do not want my comments to be displayed publicly for just anyone to come by and interpret as they please.

I am also not interested in debating with anyone on the topic at hand. There are others who are much more capable than me. These issues were settled for me at last year's conference, and I am working on other things.

If I know you (or even if I know of you), and you are interested in hearing a report, click "email me" on the left-hand side bar of this page and I will try to give as balanced and as charitable a report as I can.

I'm so glad that everyone was able to make it to the lunch today, Barb, Jessie, Butler-and-crew, the Colvins, Jon Amos and John Barach. It is good to have met you all this week.

Long day... time to go to bed..

Yippee.

Laurel Garver made up a quiz, so now I don't have to think of anything original to write for at least another day.

1. What celebrities would you like to host at your home for dinner?

Michael Bolton. So I could get close enough to him to thump him in his balding shaggy mullet head for producing so much crap.

2. If you could have your own TV or radio program, what would the content be?

A full hour of midgets running around and hitting each other. Maybe I could work in some monkeys somehow. And a real-life police chase video.

3. If you could have any sci-fi technology at your disposal, what would you choose?

The Atomization-redifibulating-capacitating-quantum-phase-modulating-tachyon-booster. I don't know what it would do, but it sure would sound cool to say it on the bridge of a starship.

4. If you had sufficient resources to start up a business, what would you do?

Aw, I'd probably blow the money on Tacos.

5. If you could be an animal for a day, what would you choose and why?

A marmoset, for obvious reasons.

6. When you were a kid, what careers did you aspire to?

I was hoping to work for an outfit similar to the A-Team.

7. What things terrified you as a child?

Toast. It's just creepy. Don't make me go into it.

8. What scenarios occur regularly in your dreams?

I keep dreaming that I'm laying there in bed minding my own business when this toddler starts crying somewhere off in the distance. As hard as I try I can't fall back to sleep because there is a person laying in bed next to me who is hitting me on the shoulder telling me that it is my turn to go get the child, change her and get her breakfast. Then somehow I drift off to sleep again. Really weird dream, but I have it like every weekend.

Do you wish you had more email in your inbox?

Is there anyone you would like to play a really mean prank on?

Go type in an email address at Spam-you-silly.

If you have kids, don't waste their time on the new Disney product Lilo and Stitch.

It looked like a cute little deal with a funny alien, but the alien is kind of malevolent and the girl is a brat. I could find nothing redeeming about the thing. Bailey will laugh at funny or cute cartoon characters, but she mostly just stared at it for a while until I decided to cut it short and put her to bed.

My mom was right.

Seeing how many nickels will fit up your nose won't get you anywhere.

From now on I want you to call me T8er Boi.

Spending the money you get for Christmas is almost as good as unwrapping presents on Christmas. You get the benefit of all the post-Christmas sales and you can really stretch your money.

I got a cordless screwdriver at Lowe's tonight for six bucks!

Today Sarah found an Andy Griffith DVD with eight classic episodes for eight dollars and some change.

It's like Christmas all over again.

(If someone happens to be reading this to you and you are planning on robbing me of these items, I want you to know that both of those things have already been used and have been donated to Goodwill. If you go find a job and wait a week for a paycheck, you can go down there and pay for them yourself. I understand this is a new concept to you, working and all, but it is how people like me afford the things that you walk in and take. Now don't get me wrong. Getting up and going to work everyday isn't nearly as thrilling as breaking-and-entering, but you also don't run the risk of walking into a house and waking up someone like me and getting beaten severely with a pitching wedge. I'm talking about beating you so hard that your dog will be retarded. So those are your options, get a job or have a retarded dog. You decide. I'll have fun either way.)

The Church's one foundation... is just an innertube.

This is either very entertaining, or I am easily amused.

There is definitely a buzz about next week's Auburn Avenue Pastor's Conference.

If you are coming, don't forget to find me, so that we can hook up for lunch on Tuesday.

I think the police department exists to serve primarily as a revenue source for the city.

We keep looking for stuff that is missing from our household.

Add to the list of things the thieves took:

A total of 4 DVD's
A bottle of baby shampoo
A package of razors
Sarah's inhaler for her occasional asthma
My green golf shirt with the Master's logo from Augusta