I have no idea what my petard is, but I do know that I never want to hoisted by it.

Saturday evening I took the opportunity to see Spider-Man at the theater in Monroe. (The movie ticket was $2... can you believe it??!?!? I thought it was a mistake.) I'm holding out to see Star Wars because I want to share it with someone I love, if I can, and that someone I love does not want to see Spider-Man. So it was the perfect opportunity to go.

It was entertaining overall. The only bad thing I have to say is that the Green Goblin's mask and get-up was a little over-the-top. I think Willam Defoe looks scarier without the mask. That guy really creeps me out. Now that they've established the characters I think Spider-Man 2 could be even better.

Spider Man, Spider Man
Does whatever a spider can
Spins a web any size
Catches thieves just like flies
LOOK OUT, here comes the Spider Man

I’m on my way to Monroe, but I’ve stopped for the night in Batesville, Mississippi. I started on my way right after work. The lanes of the highway started to run together, so I decided that I ought to get a room for the night. Maybe they will have the road fixed in the morning and maybe in the sunlight it won’t look so blurry.

I pulled into the first hotel I could find… something called an “AmeriHost Inn”. I stumbled in the door and asked the lady behind the desk for her best deal on a room for one person for one night.

“$65 plus tax.”

I turned to walk back out the door, “Wow. I’m only going to be here for a few hours. I’ll just check with the Days Inn across the street… thanks…”

“Wait a minute… I can give you a handicapped room for $35 plus tax.”

“I’ll take it.”

Don’t ever take the first price they give you. Especially if it is 11:30 and there are only seven cars in the parking lot. $35 to them is better than another empty room.

Now I’m wired. I was so sleepy behind the wheel, but now I feel completely refreshed… maybe I should have just gotten another cup of coffee and pushed on through….

Matt Haimovitz is a cellist who plays Bach's solo cello suites in nightclubs. Bringin' Bach to the people.

Sometimes I think that the only perfect thing in all of creation is a Frosted Strawberry Pop-Tart.

It is my job to recruit, build and maintain a profit-generating sales team. This past week I've been focusing on the "recruiting" part. Everytime I go through the interviewing process I get the chance to see a nice slice of our society. I wonder why every male between 19 and 25 feels the need to grow not a full beard, but a scruffy little goatee or soul patch? And I thought ear rings were completely out of vogue as male jewelry. Do all women believe that they have a better chance at getting hired if they dress in a pleated washcloth, or just the women I interview?

One fellow I interviewed just graduated from college with a bachelor's in business and marketing. At first I thought that he was extremely nervous by the way that he was putting his thoughts together and selecting his words, but even after I tried to calm him down, he continued to struggle with relatively simple questions.

I asked, "Why do you think that you would be good at sales?"

He said, "Because I'm a people person*.... I think it would be very enjoying to me."

Eh? Enjoying to me? I gave him a second shot.

"Why sort of things do you do in your spare time?"

"I like to play golf and tennis... those things are very enjoying to me."

"Well I'll keep your resume on file... thank you for your time."


*(Don't ever ever hire somebody for a sales position who gives this as a reason why they would be good at sales. It reveals that they have no idea whatsoever what they are getting into and have no real sales experience. For me it is normally an instant interview ender.)

(Also if you ever find yourself in an interview for a sales position... CLOSE THE INTERVIEWER. If you don't ask for the job, what makes me think that you are ever going to ask for the order if I hire you? Sales interviewers beg to be closed.)

I just noticed that I haven't posted anything even remotely theological in a long time. I think that is because I've been taking a long break from theology in my reading. I've been revisiting some classic literature and studying some other things. I'm enjoying the change of pace.

Sarah and Bailey got on a plane headed for Baltimore this morning to spend a few days with Sarah's parents. I am leaving after work tomorrow night for Monroe, LA to see if I can find a house or apartment to rent.

I wanted so bad to see AOTC tonight... I would have even gone by myself, but all of the shows were sold out by the time I got off of work. I understand that Mr. Lucas wanted the film screened in only the theaters with the absolute latest sound and projection technology, but the result is that of the four theaters within twenty minutes of me, only one theater is actually showing the film, and on only four screens. Not nearly enough to meet the demand. So I have "The Phantom Menace" running in the background to take the edge off of my appetite.

I have noticed an increase in the amount of "The Phantom Menace"-bashing among critics and Star Wars fans in the last month. I don't remember all this griping three years ago when people were going to see it four and five times. Okay, so it wasn't the best installment in the series by a long stretch. I hated the Jar Jar character the first time I saw him, and I was expecting to see the Jedis do more than sit around in board meetings. But it was still Star Wars and the first fresh bite of Star Wars we'd had in twenty years. So it wasn't perfect... but from what I'm hearing, "Attack of the Clones" is going to be much better... I think we'll live.

Someone emailed me, addressed me as "Amber", and requested that I link to www.marshillreview.com on my blog. Done.

(Caution: Front page has an image of a bare-chested hairy man)

THIS is hilarious if you have ever played "Pong".

(Caution: PG profanity)

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

I think the state lottery is simply a tax for folks who are bad at math.

The video version of Moby-Dick with Patrick Stewart and Henry Thomas is a complete waste of time.

When the alarm went off Friday morning I hit the snooze button and fell back to sleep. When I opened my eyes again, the clock read 7:11. I have to be starting my car at 6:45 in order to make it to work on time. Instantly, I went into panic mode. While rushing through my three-minute shower and two-minute shave my mind was racing as it tried to develop a good story for why I was going to be so late.

You see, "I overslept" is an unacceptable reason for being late. I wouldn't accept that from the people who work for me, and I wouldn't expect my superiors to understand either. I needed something elaborate and plausible, and I needed to be able to answer any question about my story without hesitation.

Flat tire? No, too many of those lately - for real. Sick baby kept me up all night? No, I should have called in a lot sooner than now. Traffic snarl? No, the VP of sales drives the exact same route into the city as I.

As I frantically knotted my tie and grabbed my briefcase I looked up at the clock in the kitchen... 6:20. I snatched the remote and flipped on the TV. The graphic at the bottom of the screen showed 64 degrees and 6:20.

I must have hit the "hour" button at the same time that I hit the snooze button, moving it from 6 to 7. I wasn't late. I was doing fine and I didn't have to lie about anything.

I wonder what I am supposed to learn from that.

I have an idea for a new pizza where the crust is on the top and the cheese is on the bottom.

I bought a set of rabbit-ear antennas for our television the other night.

We were paying $11 a month for a very basic cable package. Because the reception is so poor in our area, we were willing to pay a few bucks to get the big four networks and PBS. They threw in WGN, TBS and Discovery on the agreement, and we've been happy. Sarah's home all day, and she likes to have the noise in the background while she's doing houswork, or tending to Bailey. Outside of the once-a-week stock car race, baseball game or hockey game, I rarely flip it on.

Six weeks ago I called the service department to get them to come and check the connection, because we were getting a terrible picture on half the channels. I expected them to come at any time, but they never came out... until this past Tuesday afternoon when I was on the way back from Atlanta. They didn't come for repair, they came to cut us off because they say we didn't pay our bill. I did pay the last bill, and while I was a few days late on the current bill, they say that I am 60 days behind. No big deal... it is a billing issue... stuff like that happens all the time... but they turned the switch and discontinued our service.

They want to charge me $40 to come back out and re-connect. Plus, they are no longer offering new subscribers the $11 package... only the $35 package. The total bill with deposit and service charges would come to $140. The cost of an RCA television antenna at Wal-Mart is $9.

I spoke to three different levels of customer service people the other day to try to reason with them, and to inquire about how it is that they cannot make it out to service me as a customer, but they can beat it out to my door to cut off the service, effectively making me not a customer. They didn't budge. They didn't even try to work with me or to understand what I was saying.

So now we can pick up ABC, PBS and the local independent station that carries the Blues and the Cardinals. Sometimes we can see NBC, CBS and Fox. Not that it is a big deal to me, but if you ever are faced with the decision to do business with AT&T cable, I recommend that you don't.

I'm in the last 100 pages of Moby-Dick, and boy has it been tedious.

So far, this is the oldest I've been.

Well I'm back from Lanier headquarters in Atlanta again. Boy am I sick of travel. I learned some neat stuff about my industry, though. Analysts say that in two years copier companies will no longer be manufacturing stand-alone monochrome systems. Every copier marketed in North America will be networked and color. It is an exciting time to be in this business.

This is the Lanier 2138 28-page-per-minute color printer with automatic duplexing, and full finishing capabilities. My team has sold three of these in the past month for about $7500 each. What a great product.

CLICK HERE to read about a skill I'll bet you didn't know I have.

Can you believe that there are only 13 days between now and the opening of Star Wars: Episode 2? I am so psyched.

I am leaving early tomorrow morning (Saturday) for another business trip to corporate headquarters in Atlanta. I won't be back until Tuesday night, and I'm not lugging my laptop on the plane with me, so I'm sure that I will be going through some withdrawal.

The biggest, most essential meeting of the trip is scheduled for 10:00 Sunday morning. I don't know what I'm going to do yet. It really really REALLY chafes me, because the people who scheduled and agreed to this meeting are living as if there is no God. Maybe I can fake sickness, give my group the slip and catch a cab to find a church.

I propose that Christians cleanse from their vocabularies words and phrases that bear crass sexual connotations.

I'm referring to terms such as: sucks, blows, bite me, blow it off, shoot my wad, jerk off and (worse).

Don't get me wrong. I absolutely do not bear a hatred for sex, and there are times when a good solid oath is the only way I can properly express my particular sentiments. However, when we use these particular words and phrases I think that we are committing verbal fornication, assailing and tarnishing something that God calls good by twisting it and describing it in a filthy manner.

What do you think?

While I'm on the topic, I invented a word a few months back... "scatocephalous"... it is the only polite way I know to describe a lot of things.

What does "stop" mean to you?

Rod Yellon, a political science professor at the University of Manitoba, was fined in February for protesting a postponement of the trial in his four-year-long constitutional challenge over a $25 (U.S.) traffic ticket he had been issued in Winnipeg for rolling through a stop sign. Yellon had challenged the law as too vague, in that a "stop" sign did not "specify sufficiently" what drivers were supposed to do when they encountered one.

Is it possible for anyone younger than twenty to say a complete sentence without using the word "like"?